Dear friends – As I last wrote you the news from the radiation oncologist was most encouraging although he warned me of extreme fatigue.  It happened and six days later I was wiped out – the day before the reunion with my “Danny Grads.”  And on the seventh day – ha! … I required rest and Karen had to drive me to the reunion over near Baltimore. There was great excitement as the nine of us convened for the first time in two years and represented states from California to Maryland. What a gathering as we weren’t sure all would make it.  We had 2 print-outs each morning for reflection that set our thoughts for the day.  We spent time exploring our attitudes and coping strategies in dealing with declining physical/mental abilities.  We shared ideas/resources/models for Memorial Services — to help our families or friends. (I shared my collection of choices.) One session was devoted to retirement communities. One of our number is a published poet and she read a number of poems to our delight. Especially meaningful was one called “Reunion” which she wrote ten years ago at our gathering in Maine. Another DG collects an assortment of humor and kept us in stitches at off-moments. We had ‘Catch-Up Sessions’ so we could share what is most important in our lives right now, what has brought joy, hope, what are we looking forward to, and addressing fears. One person is exceptionally gifted in leadership so guided us from one session to another plus breaks. Many contributions. In the evening I brought a short devotion, the final evening being a Healing Service on the order of Iona Abbey’s in Scotland. Another person had been there on pilgrimage too, and helped plan it.  It was very touching. We ALL need healing. Coincidentally, Shalem was on pilgrimage on the Isle of Iona last week; they prayed for us at the actual service in the Abbey and we prayed for the pilgrims. A wonderful reciprocal prayer. This was all held at the Conference and Retreat Center of Bon Secours in Marriottsville, MD in beautiful surroundings with walks, a pool, a labyrinth and a pond and oriental bridge with attractive gardens. (View from my window)
Very reluctantly we parted on Friday, hoping to regather again in another two years…
I spent the next night with my childhood friend Nancy in Ellicott City (I was 2; she was 3) and we had many laughs and stories to share as we visited in her magnificent courtyard till 11 pm, listening to the music of the night….which I discovered I could actually hear! In fact I heard the frogs while at the reunion and hadn’t been able to figure out why I didn’t hear them when I settled in for sleep – without my hearing aids!  
Who’s who from left: Jane from Chicago area; Jackie from Riderwood, Silver Spring, MD; Joann from Pasadena, CA (poet in our midst); yours truly; my friend Nancy; Jan from Cincinnati; Kay from Kansas; Debbie from Roanoke; Sprookie (means ‘freckles’ in S. African- not sure if I remember the country!); and Allison from Nashville.  
Saturday Karen came to bring me home and then unpacked all my belongings – clothes and reunion packets. Such a help as I was terribly wiped out. Not sure how much was radiation and how much other factors, but as the days wore on it became apparent that there was something else. Yesterday Karen took me to the pulmonologist appointment as I was too weak, and he was concerned that I may have a pulmonary embolism so had me get a dose of Lovenox right there and then sent me for a CT scan of my chest “STAT!”   Word from the radiologist and pulmonary doctor revealed that I did not, but might have pneumonia. He put me on Augmentin for ten days.
Today’s appointment was with the oncologist. Karen goes along and takes notes and filled in quite a bit with info on her mother… that I was having walking problems, breathing problems, and had had swollen feet on Saturday, etc. He checked me out and my cough in the middle of it produced evidence that confirmed the  diagnosis of infection, agreement on the Augmentin, and a subsequent check of my port for chemo….had it been flushed lately? No.  Let me see it.  Well, the line to it is quite red and  inflamed. He was alarmed and scheduled for it to be removed….. tomorrow!  That is not the cause of any infection, he said, but not something to be tolerated. Karen was going to spend the night since it is a very early arrival, but – bless his heart – a neighbor learned of it and volunteered because he always gets up early (and Karen is a half hour hour away). She will meet me at the hospital around eleven or so.  As if that isn’t enough, I am also scheduled for an MRI of the Lumbar Spine (w/and w/o contrast) and Thoracic Spine (w/and w/o contrast) on Thursday at 6:45 pm. I learned that the procedure this time will take 90 min.!!  45 min. each!! Please think of me. My claustrophobia may have been mostly ‘licked’ but this is about double the time I’m accustomed to! Think I’ll take a sleeping pill, not valium!  And I can!
Next on the docket –  you mean there’s more?!  I see both doctors again next week, the same as this week, Monday and Tuesday. But – you know, I couldn’t feel more confident. They are fantastic and give whatever time is needed and are so caring. And they relate to Karen so well too. I have to be sure i’m not treated as her grandmother!!
From here on, please mark your calendar with all the energy you can muster to send my way.  Don’t know when I’ve not been able to complete something I began but this is “it.” Maddening, but I confess that I stubbornly insisted I could do it all, and kept on keeping on. I’m very weak and could barely walk to the cafe at noon so asked someone to please bring my dinner. Have spinal pain off and on and interrupted sleep. Head is itching and driving me crazy with hair down to dozens of hairs. Forgot and went out on patio to greet a couple with my beanie on and suddenly recalled – Yish!! My wig!!  The man looked as though he had seen a ghost! As for my fatigue, I’m paying the price, I suppose, but – I’d do it again. Friends and special events are worth it in the end. 🙂
Here is one of the morning reflections.  I imagine you might have it.
-Sunday Sunrise Prayer-
Father, Mother, God,
Thank you for your presence
during the hard and mean days.
For then we have you to lean upon.
Thank you for your presence
during the bright and sunny days,
for then we can share that which we have
with those who have less.
And thank you for your presence
during the Holy Days, for then we are able
to celebrate you and our families
and our friends.
For those who have no voice,
we ask you to speak.
For those who feel unworthy,
we ask you to pour your love out
in waterfalls of tenderness.
For those who live in pain,
we ask you to bathe them
in the river of your healing.
For those who are lonely, we ask
you to keep them company.
For those who are depressed,
we ask you to shower upon them
the light of hope.
Dear Creator, You, the borderless
sea of substance, we ask you to give to all the
world that which we need most—Peace.
—Maya Angelou