Unfortunately I’ve reversed the usual phrase and am learning that I have little capacity to  place “mind over matter!”  Either age has trumped my brain cells or I have succumbed to chemo brain, probably a bit of both.  Very discouraging not to be able to pull up names, words, and titles that are ordinary in my lexicon or normal memory.  Just drawing a blank. Then a few weeks ago I went to a dance here and got tongue-tied (imagine!!) when attempting to converse!  ….finally had to stop trying.  Maybe the dance music or its volume was interfering with my brain cells and concentration!  Anyway I am relieved that it doesn’t happen more often than it does.
Another disturbance is vision: blurred distance vision one night yet clear the next!  The ophthalmologist says I must use ointment in my eyes at bedtime for lubrication. How can one read in bed that way?!!   Cataracts are no longer “babies,” but not serious; chemo is drying out corneas; and macular degeneration causes some of the distortion.  I will have new lenses next week, which sounds wonderful; perhaps reading the newspaper won’t be such a strain.
This was chemo week and so today, Saturday, is ebb time when I sink downhill for the weekend. Energy sapped, reduced appetite, vision difficulty, some spinal pain, and such.  But by Monday things should begin to reverse themselves. Karen reminds me of the treatment cycle…. which I naturally resist accepting. The coming week is full with my friend Erika’s 80th birthday party in Baltimore (also an Erickson community), my monthly X-geva injection for bone protection, help coming from cleaning woman, a welcome visit from a friend I met at Pendle Hill (Quaker Center in PA) in 1996  🙂  and then the weekend of the e-retreat debut!  It’s happening!  Anyone who likes some peace and quiet, good music and interesting art, listening to e.e. cummings read his poem (which will then be sung by a college choir), and hearing some suggestions for finding meaning in interruptions (!)… do tune in here for one of these days. Reasonable too!  Yes, I’m plugging’ it again!  Apologies…. but it will be truly interesting and at your own pace. I think you will like it.

Holy Interruptions:
An Online Retreat Day with Ann Kulp

Would you benefit from taking a day to rejuvenate, recharge, and refocus? Join Shalem adjunct staff member Ann Kulp this April for an online retreat day: “Holy Interruptions.” Using material that Ann has utilized for retreat days for years, repurposed and adapted for an online setting, you will enjoy guided meditations, reflection questions, poetry, art and music. Let Ann help you learn to notice and embrace unexpected, holy moments that happen each day. Space is limited. 
Dates: One day retreat which can be taken any of the three days the weekend of Fri, Apr 4 to Sun, Apr 6, 2014
Time: The course is comprised of two morning sessions and two afternoon sessions. You may access these whenever you wish during the three days of the retreat weekend, though the ideal approach is to set aside a single day.
Leader: Ann Kulp, D.Min., is a spiritual director who leads workshops and retreats.
Location: Shalem’s Contemplative-Living website.     
Cost: $39 To register on our store, please click here

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I would like to pull together some words of wisdom that I had gathered last week, but chemo week has left me bereft of expressing anything except some silly truth you might relate to as well!!!

I keep thinking things will change…. the piles will diminish and I will become more efficient…..but I think I need to join you all in the retreat I am recommending!   😉
Many thanks for all your support as you stay with me in this continuing challenge.