Please enjoy my amaryllis! Originally they were simply two tall 16″ stems with two bulbs looking like I would eventually get two flowers.  Behold! I got two bulbs with eight flowers! Not at the same time, but what a surprise!  (Here are six, with two not open in near side.)  I had ‘amaryllis’ on my gift list, remembering when Paul gave me a pot of two bulbs just beginning to arise from the soil, and how we watched them grow. Obviously I had forgotten all about amaryllis! What I noticed about these extra tall plants: they were top heavy and slanted so that they took three tumbles since Christmas and I have been concocting ways to help them continue growing ever since! An ice pick on one side and a cake tester on the other with a large ‘twist-em’ around it all!  After one slalom down to the couch from the windowsill, one came completely out and broke at the base but, undaunted, it has struggled on with a little help. These are huge and absolutely gorgeous. What a lift of spirit such changes bring!
Update: Today was my scheduled day for chemo, having skipped the holidays due to the diverticulitis. However, I have had some severe spinal pain on a few occasions as well as the repetitive cough that brought pain to rib or lung area. Therefore I saw the oncologist today prior to the chemo (Karen accompanied) and the decision was to not have the Alimta today.  I had my usual injection of Xgeva and blood work (all fine, even the white count after its having been way down when in the ER) and will cease getting B12 because it was related to the Alimta.
So – what is next? Dr. Heyer is having me get an MRI of the lumbar region and a CT scan of the chest. These will be compared with earlier results to see what is going on.  He suspects that he will send me for radiation of my spine to bring relief of occasional pain which didn’t show up until early December. (Why no chemo?:  it affects the bone marrow and there is too much toxicity if radiation is combined with chemo.)
MRI: This afternoon I was able to go directly from one office to another for the MRI, thanks to schedule and nearby location.  I told the attendant that yes, I was claustrophobic but would be okay… a big boast!  (Karen had left and I had no valium; they don’t let you drive yourself home if you have taken valium. And I wanted to get it over with.) Consider how cold it was today and how cold those chambers are anyway nor had I arrived without metal on my clothing! However, they provided me with TWO gowns and THREE blankets! and my wig helped!  I asked him to turn off the fan (which he kindly did) but when he pulled me out for the contrast near the end, I told him I was toasty and he could turn it back on!  AND I had absolutely no claustrophobia for the whole 40 minutes!  Hallelujah.  It was fascinating to listen to different sounds and rhythms (even counted over 600 of one tempo which got boring- both the noise and the counting!) and to even open my eyes to a non-threatening environment – praises be!, and feeling most grateful for this new experience in ‘the tunnel!’
CT Scan: Tomorrow I get the CT scan. The results will probably be available by Friday to the doc. I am pleased to be having these (despite the fact that I have quite a collection of scans and tests in my bio now) because they hopefully have guided and will guide my further treatment.
A welcome change: My spirits were especially low with the three weeks or so of diverticulitis and the struggle to address it, and my having to miss pickle ball!  However, this week has been a turnaround, and I attribute much of it to having had time to delve into some literature and daybooks that brought me back to who I feel I really am. And that feels good. And so I allow books to “fall off the wall” that seem to open to the ‘right page,’ or to look for a selection for a friend and find that it was really intended for me. And then the joy of being helpful to others, especially some of those here who need a smile and a few chuckles. And – I’m hoping to get back to pickleball real soon…. and to my work with Shalem which has been delayed unfortunately by my health as well as my procrastination. I think sometimes we need to be goaded (right now by change)…. or angered … in order to move on. Yes! I once got mad when a therapist (I was depressed after my mother’s death) instructed me how I could begin to clean up… telling me that liquor stores had wonderful boxes for books…as if I didn’t know that… and to just get busy! I was insulted actually and the anger obviously stirred up my energy so that I DID get busy, just not in the way that she suggested. And, of course most of the “stuff” is stored up in the Summit House workshop! At least more than I’d like. Karen was shocked to see how much of her grandparents’ papers were up there! So goes life. She and David may get to sort it. But there is joy in the sorting and the memories, no matter who ends up doing it.  Some folks tell me that their kids will just pull up a dumpster and not look through anything…. but I doubt it. Something within us will draw our attention to a memory that is represented by a book, a totem, a blanket, a chair, a letter, a poem, a sculpture, a painting, a coffeepot, a photograph from the past, and so on. And our hearts will be lifted.
My New Year’s wish to you all – via John Ruskin (1819-1900):

I wish you some new love of lovely things
and some new forgetfulness of the teasing things
and some higher pride in the praising things
and some sweeter peace from the hurrying things
and some closer fence from the worrying things. 

And a new perspective on changes!

In back & hidden: first drooping blooms
Front: four latest blooms